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Jeep Humor
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You might be a Redneck Jeeper If...
you go to get the Sunday paper and come back on Monday without it. O|||||||O
you use a hose to clean the inside AND the outside. O|||||||O
When the best route from point A to point B is through the mud. O|||||||O
When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark. O|||||||O
Your mom and sister can't get in without help. O|||||||O
You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb. O|||||||O
You search for trails in an USAF helicopter. O|||||||O
You puke when you see a Geo Tracker. O|||||||O
When you know what the "Jeep Wave" is and you're not afraid to use it. O|||||||O
You get custom pin striping from trail brush. O|||||||O
When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and bitch-slap the driver. O|||||||O
it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts. O|||||||O
When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days. O|||||||O
When you take your friends wheeling and they say, "What trail? I don't see a trail!" O|||||||O
When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker. O|||||||O
Your friends won't ride with you 'cause they don't want to wind up in the desert in the middle of the night. O|||||||O
When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep. O|||||||O
When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep. O|||||||O
When you can see OVER a Suburban. O|||||||O
You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up. O|||||||O
When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win. O|||||||O
When it rains and you don't care that your top and doors are off. O|||||||O
When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless. O|||||||O
When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break. O|||||||O
your "Parts Department" is on blocks behind your house. O|||||||O
When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again. O|||||||O
You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield. O|||||||O
You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents. O|||||||O
Every page of your repair manual has fingerprints. O|||||||O
Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling. O|||||||O
You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other. O|||||||O
Winter comes and you can't remember where you left the roof. O|||||||O
You spend more on car washes than on insurance. O|||||||O
Even worse, the car wash won't let you in. O|||||||O
You complain about everything but smile when you fix everything yourself. O|||||||O
When you think Mud Brown should be a factory paint color. O|||||||O
When you feel sorry for someone in a ,000 Toyota Land Cruiser. O|||||||O
When you have all your credit card numbers memorized. O|||||||O
When you slam the door and part of your Jeep crumbles to the ground. O|||||||O
If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it. O|||||||O
Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it. O|||||||O
You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway. O|||||||O
You are dating the Service Manager at the Jeep dealership. O|||||||O
You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows. O|||||||O
You can't hear your stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway. O|||||||O
You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep. O|||||||O
Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel. O|||||||O
The first word out of your 2 year old's mouth isn't Mommy or Daddy, it's a JEEP!!! O|||||||O
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35 REASONS WHY JEEPS ARE BETTER THAN...... WOMEN
1. Jeeps don't get pregnant.
2. You can drive your Jeep any time of the month.
3. Jeeps don't have parents.
4. Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your Jeep with your friends.
6. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
7. When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.
8. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you have.
9. Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.
10. Jeeps don't care if you buy Jeep magazines.
11. You'll never hear, "Surprise! You're going to own a new Jeep!"...unless you go out and get it yourself.
12. If your Jeep goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your Jeep is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your Jeep is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
15. You can have a Jeep of color and still bring it home to your parents.
16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Jeep.
17. If you say bad things to your Jeep, you don't have to apologize before you drive it again.
18. You can drive your Jeep as long as you want and it won't get sore.
19. You can stop driving your Jeep as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Jeep after you dump it.
21. Jeeps don't get headaches.
22. Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
23. Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.
24. Jeeps don't care if you're late.
25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your Jeep.
26. If your Jeep doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
27. You can drive your Jeep the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
28. The only protection you have to wear when driving your Jeep is a decent seat belt.
29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great drive you had the last time you were in your Jeep.
30. Your Jeep is never embarrassed to go topless in public.
31. You only have to feed your Jeep when you use it.
32. A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.
33. Jeeps don't care how much money you spend on them.
34. You never have to worry about your Jeep spending your money.
35. You don't have to remember your Jeep's birthday, when you first met, or anniversaries.
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